his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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