girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
