Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
