I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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