An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
