I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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