Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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