batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
