I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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