So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
