My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All the doctor said was why
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize