i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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