You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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