i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
