I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
