I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
BRING THE BAGELS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
