At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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