Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
