Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
