moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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