just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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