Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
