This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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