Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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