Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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