You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
