i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
