based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
