Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
