You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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