You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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