Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize