I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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