Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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