if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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