every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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