shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
