It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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