you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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