Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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