Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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