You're my little dorito
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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