My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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