If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
