Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
