how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
