you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize