His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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