Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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