I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
