didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
