Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had to cum in my sink.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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