its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
