Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
