i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
