My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
