First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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