obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
