i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
