I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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