on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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